I’ve got a thing for the Brits. ?? Melissa can tell you all about it.
“You wanna watch anything tonight? Comedy? Action?”
Dan searches the BritBox subscription channel for moody, atmospheric drama set near the Lake District.
Must be DNA. 23 and Me tells me 81% of my ancestry vibrates from the Isles.
Lately, I’ve been dreaming of doing theatre-y things in the UK — teaching West End performers, working with dancers who want to sing more, performing at The National Theatre.
When I was in London in 2000, I’d walk over Waterloo Bridge, look across at the South Bank, and dream about getting to perform in one of the 3 iconic spaces there. No idea how to work out the whole visa situation, but I’ve never been too concerned with details.
My London leanings resurfaced in my psyche again this week, and I laughed when I scrolled to today’s email subject suggestion on my Google sheet (I keep a list of things I want to email you about.)
It said —
Can you tell from the talk-to-text that I was all like, really? You sure?
22-year old Dan wanted to perform at The National, and so does 45-year-old Dan.
May never happen. Given my citizenship status, the probability lowers even more.
But still, I want that to happen.
I imagine an extended season near London where Melissa manages a cutting-edge research lab with unusually extraverted science colleagues, the boys wear uniforms to school, and I get to teach and perform in and around the West End. And we all ride our bikes to the National Gallery.
I even drew a pic and wrote a poem about it one time
“Boys and their fancies!” Mrs. Lovett says. “What will we think of next?”
(My inner critic talks like a machiavellian East Ender when it’s not a mean redneck.)
Thing is, though, your hypotheticals have important info.
The specifics of them may never happen, but letting yourself dream the dream does a couple of things.
If you can hold your fantasies with love and gentleness, it makes you expectant.
A few weeks back at church, there was a talk about the difference between expectation and expectancy.
It was a nuanced and important difference.
Expectations project a specific outcome. And often, as they say in the 12 Steps, they can be resentments waiting to happen.
Expectancy has an open heart that knows it can wish for a thing, AND something even more nourishing, satisfying, and purposeful may appear that it never could have imagined.
When my life was in a major disintegration stage, a phrase started bubbling up from my heart: I’d rather have God’s surprises than my plans.
And it’s a both-and project.
Just like I ask Noah, “What would you like to have for breakfast?” I think God wants us to share what it is we want.
As a dad, when Noah requests “Waffooooollllls” with the knowledge that I want to help him out, it makes my heart happy. I want him to know that I want to help him.
Goes back to Einstein’s “I think the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’”
And if Enistein can ask that question in his historical context, then we can, too.
All that was about expectancy.
The second thing all this dreaming does is that it gets your wheels turning so that you discover possibilities you would have missed.
Maybe the first idea isn’t something you can control or take action on, but it points you in a direction.
Maybe you can’t call up the casting director at the National Theatre and say, “Heeeey! I can’t work legally in the UK (YET!), but you clearly need to get me on your radar. Um, you’re welcome.”
But, you could start researching avenues to get your body to the UK and collaborating with theatre artists there.
I often tell students, “Put your body in the place, and do the thing.” Folks will start to notice.
When I was 22, I had no idea that I wouldn’t be able to find some other way to stay in the UK after my 6-month work permit expired.
And I’m glad I didn’t know. I’m so grateful for the time I had there and the friends I’m blessed with as a result.
So, let your dreamer dream; let expectancy bloom, and write down all the things that feel immediately delightful.
Your noggin may say, “How ridiculous.” Then you can say, “Yes, you’re right,” and then write down the next thing that would be so terrific if it ever happened.
Because for real — there is only one you (with your particular dreams), and folks need to hear the story only you can sing.
Love much,
Dan
PS Here’s the SONNET I wrote about the Anglo-dreams I have for our family’s UK stint 🙂
Some days I dream about how we could
Move to London, find a flat or part
Of a house on a close close to an ancient wood
Or anywhere near a park. We’d explore art
Galleries and eat cake in the crypt
At St. Martin and tool around the town on bikes,
Cross the river and see a play with a script
That I wrote. We’d travel north and take long hikes
Along sea cliffs.Then we’d build a fire
And drink hot chocolate and whisky. Back in town
We’d go to work and school, sing in a choir,
And drink pints in the pub, the Something and Crown.
We’ll go to the market for bread and leeks and flowers
And have soup for supper and talk and laugh for hours.
