I got to sing “Marry Me a Little” in a production of Putting it Together at South Coast Repertory about 12 years go, and one night I cracked. Bad.
If you know the song, it’s at the end when it goes “Sooooomeooooone!”
It was an A-flat. Emotion had choked me up, and I was surprised by a sound that came out of my face not unlike an adorable video I saw recently of a donkey reunitng with the girl who raised it as a foal.
The performance was connected and honest, so I moved on.
BUT, the next night you know what happened.
Oh no. Here comes that note. Why did it crack last night? How do I KEEP it from cracking tonight? More space? More breath? More everything? Yes. More everything. Go!
And, crack again. Only this time self-conscious and NOT connected.
[Enter singer neurosis death spiral.]
There was even a review on a ticketing site lamenting how I started the song so well but just didn’t have the chops to finish it.
(Another reviewer said I was upstaged by my mullet haircut — I didn’t even know I HAD a mullet. They’re in again, right? Or is that over?)
(I guess I was getting a little “party in the back” there.)
Anyway, I didn’t know what the problem was. I didn’t know how to leverage physiology and acoustics to ensure I wouldn’t surprise an audience like a screaming goat video.
And this wasn’t an isolated incident.
I’ve cracked like a wounded beast singing an aria in a grad school concerto competition hearing.
I pummeled myself with merciless self-talk through many undergrad productions,
and I even cracked once when I sang “I feeeeel you, Johaaaaannnnaaaaaa!” with the orchestra all blasting during a Sweeney Todd in LA. (A musical director I worked with later reminded me of the fact as he had been in the audience. So kind.)
So, I’ve felt the pain of the crack.
And I didn’t get clear tools in my own body as to why this was happening until my late 30s. And when I did, I was ready to preach the vocal register acoustic agreement gospel to anyone who’d listen.
One myth singers beat themselves up with is that if they’re cracking or experiencing rough transitions where they want them to be smooth, something clearly has to be wrong with them and their voice. Their instrument is faulty.
False.
While yes, sometimes you may need to make an appointment with a laryngologist and get a scope to make sure everything’s scope-acetic, the vast majority of the time, the events we call cracks or breaks happen because of one of two things:
Register confusion
&/or
Vocal tract shape.
With register confusion, you’re unfamiliar with the categories of sounds your vocal folds make, and you don’t have a ready recognition of what they feel and sound like inside your own head.
And with vocal tract shape, that just means that the different parts of your throat and mouth have a direct effect on what’s going on in the vocal folds.
(and PS, different registers only cooperate with certain vowels. Some folks say [i/ee] is their favorite vowel, but it’s not going to love you back on every note in every mode.)
It’s enough to get your ears and brain all twisted in a knot, so this week, I’m going to break down the most common snags we hit when it comes to understanding registration and how to collaborate with physics and your physiology.
(It’s almost always counterintuitive and opposite your brain’s perception of what needs to happen.)
You can follow these mini-lessons on my YouTube channel this week. And while you’re at it, you can check out last week’s videos about how to prepare your audition packets.
The takeaway from this is that almost any technical snag you hit is solve-able, and if you have an evidence-based solution to try, you can show up on a consistent basis, try the thing, and then you get better.
Now apply this vocal truth to your wider life. I’m working on it, too.
Example: I sat down to structure a teaching and class schedule for the summer, and my body got all hot, I broke into a mild sweat, and my heart rate went up.
A deep deep part of me that fears making a decision and going with it was responding. Still don’t understand it all, but I was like, “Oh, there’s something deeper holding me back from finishing this very practical task.”
That’s often the way.
And the good thing is that when you just start taking small, practical actions, deeper things unearth themselves in their own time. It’s when you’re in action dunked in sweet compassion that things become clear.
So, join me on the YouTube (or Instagram or Facebook), I’ll be posting this info on all of the human psychology manipulation platforms.
In the meantime, sing something, please ?. Because there’s only one you, and folks need to hear the story only you can sing.
Love MUCH,
Dan
PS Here’s “Marry Me a Little” from a faculty recital last year (without the crack this time). Accompanied by the inimitable (and my piano boyfriend) Scott Nicholas.
PPS Here’s that sweet donkey and the girl who raised him video.
PPPS And here’s the YouTube playlist on audition prep so far. Like and subscribe. You know what to do!