This Song’s Just Not That into Me

Today I entered a very important phase of rehearsal and song relationship: beginning to dislike the song and myself singing it.

I practiced today with a headache and some throat crud, and I was a little locked up. (Man with a headache!–ahhhhh–it was pretty dramatic, but I soldiered on.)

That’s why it’s good to give ourselves real things to commit to that people are going to see; they make us show up and do our work when we don’t want to.

At least that’s what works for me. For my ENFP self, intrinsic motivation lasts as long as the original excitement of the new idea.

(As I write this, I realize this means that I just need to schedule the date for the reading of the musical I’ve been kicking around and working on since, well 2012. That will make me actually finish the first draft.)

Creative relationship stages mirror our own human connections; we move into the part of relationship when the uglies come out, we have to navigate conflict, and here’s the ringer: we actually have to face ourselves.

The tough parts happen in all creative endeavor just like they do in our human interactions because we are the ones creating them. They come from us. So that means we have to meet ourselves.

If we truly develop an intimate relationship with a song, a role, a painting, a story, meaning that we’re going to break through to something real and meaningful to share, there will be friction and frustration.

When we put one foot in front of the other with an open heart and the willingness to look with love at what the challenges squeeze out of us, we do better work, and we can offer something more true and beautiful to those we want to share it with.