I’ve been tracking the Russian invasion of Ukraine this week like when I was a kid counting stair steps, avoiding sidewalk cracks, or ensuring my left foot made the same amount of sneaker taps as my right under my second grade desk.
I assured myself these behaviors directly influenced outcomes in my 8-year-old universe.
I’m refreshing the Washington Post app several times an hour, checking the YouTubes for people who might know what they’re talking about, and praying vengeful prayers.
When I see the video of a Ukrainian woman telling an American reporter that she’s staying in Kyiv because it’s her home, that it’s Russia that needs to leave, I feel justice and shaking fists rise up in my throat.
I’ve been asking God to supercharge the Ukrainian people like the Avengers and imagining school teachers in Kharkiv taking up rocket launchers and taking out invading tank lines.
I’m so angry this is happening.
I think about the busloads of traumatized, silent refugees disembarking at the borders, crowds of folks who were taking their children to nursery school last week now trying to figure out how to get food and keep it together in front of their toddlers while others stay behind.
I think about my lucky life–how my direct encounters with war are limited to a family friend lost in Afghanistan and others bearing the emotional toll after making it back home.
I remember singing “War is a Science” in Pippin back in the day with Deaf West Theatre.
Charlemagne broke down the battle plan to his soldiers–human lives reduced to color-coded action figures. Then followed “Glory” with a finale of axed-off limbs falling from the fly space.
Easy to be wry and satirical about war when you’re in costumes under lights in a climate controlled theatre.
When you’re in it, the irony explodes, and you’re left with the realities of demolished lives.
I’m gonna take a gratitude detour and celebrate the man in the picture above.
That’s Troy Kotsur who just won the SAG Award for Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role. I was telling you about him back in August.
Ever since I got to collaborate with Troy in Pippin, he’s been my actor hero.
He turned words on a page into magic in the air.
Troy taught me that a script wasn’t a fixed rules-y document, but a terrific sandbox with tons of toys.
I’m a very ear-based singer and actor. I always start with how things sound. I mean, duh, I’m a voice teacher. ? So, watching Troy craft visual wizardry out of the printed word was new territory.
He tweaked signs all the way through the run, and he’d wave me down after our scenes to see how the audience responded.
I think we dissected about seventeen different iterations of the line, “Lewis is an asshole.” I had no idea there there were that many versions of an expletive in ASL.
Troy also had jokes.
One day in rehearsal he caught my attention from across the room and spoke-signed, “Your voice. It’s sooo beautiful. It makes me cry.”
As he traced a sincere tear down his cheek, I began to say, “Awww, thank y….” Doh!
That wasn’t the only time he got me. Let’s just say he wasn’t one to implicitly trust for ASL education.
What I loved the most about Troy, though, was his passion and enjoyment of every line of the story. He showed me words were symbols that hold the place of what we really mean, and there are all kinds of ways to paint those pictures.
It’s also terrific to see someone who’s worked so hard and taken so many leaps in an industry that’s not all open doors get much-deserved recognition. (He’s received an Academy Award nom now among many other honors–go Troy!)
So, I just wanna tell you how grateful I am.
I’m grateful I get to write this email to you.
I’m grateful I get to be annoyed by my boys’ shenanigans rather than grasping to figure out how I’m going to keep my family safe in the face of an armed invasion.
I’m grateful for lungs that breathe, legs that walk, eyes that see, ears that hear, and a heart that can love.
And I’m believing that anger-filled eight-year-old magical thinking vengeance prayers can get translated into something useful in the heaven-sphere.
And I know for sure that there’s only one you, and folks need to hear the story only you can sing.
Love much,
Dan
ps Here’s a link to a WaPo article with links to places you can donate to help Ukraine.
pps I love this 4-second video of Troy finding out he got a BAFTA nomination. Listen for him laughing at the end :). Here’s an LA Times article about our collaboration on Pippin. And here’s a gorgeous monologue from Cyrano. I’ve always been a fan. ???
