I told you how I started using Dr. Rangan Chatterjee’s three question journal prompts in the morning and evening, and some quiet and significant changes have happened.
Maybe a practice like this would help you, too.
I the morning, I write the answers to these questions:
What’s the most important thing for me to do today?
What’s one thing I’m profoundly grateful for?
And what quality do I want to show the world today?
To begin with, that third question had a big impact on me: What quality do I want to show the world?
One day, it was love and peace. Just the act of writing that down in the morning shaped my day.
I got testy with the boys, I remembered love and peace.
If things were getting harried getting out the door with all gloves, hats, and snow pants accounted for or my plans to get so much work done got waylaid by a slime cleanup on Aisle Kitchen Floor, love and peace reminded me they wanted a reflection into the world via me that day.
I kept hearing Carole King’s voice singing, “You’ve got to get up every mo-o-ornin….”
I was surprised writing a couple of words down in the morning made that kind of difference.
One day, when I knew my crankelstein temptaion would be high, I wrote “joy,” and colored a little fireball around it.
That helped me, too.
I walked through a day that normally would have slung me down into Moody Sludge Puddle Town, and I came through it with merely muddy Wellies. Made a huge difference in the environment of our home, too.
Another day it was “skill and confidence,” and I found myself contributing in helpful ways at a faculty council meeting surrounded by senior colleagues whose intellects and wisdom I admire. Well, look at that.
But, it was one morning answering the first question that proved most significant.
I had an interrupted night of sleep, Nugget Number Two was awake at 5:15, and my eye lid was doing the twitchy thing when I’m under-slept and overloaded.
What’s the most important thing for me to do today?
I heard clearly: “Go slow and show myself compassion.”
And for the “what quality?” question, I repeated the theme: compassion.
It transformed everything I did that day.
And I accomplished more going slow that day than I normally do with my usual frenetic go-to of cram this in between unloading the dishwasher and finding a podcast to listen to while I take the recycling to the corner before the trucks get there because I forgot to last night.
There were unchecked tasks at the end of the day, like every day, but the important ones got done, and in a joyful way.
When the boys kicked off or decided a Lincoln Log might make a decent weapon, I noticed my annoyance and frustration surge, and I realized going down this track lacked compassion towards me.
What would be a way that feels better? I went slower and intervened with a calmer voice. Chill Daddy can negotiate a magna-tile hostage situation much more effectively than Crusty Pop.
(Feel free to steal Chill Daddy and Crusty Pop for your next children’s book idea or jazz-blues fusion band.)
I noticed throughout the day all these emotional Charlie-in-the-box moments (we’re musical theater people, so you have to use The Island of Misfit Toys names) — I noticed when they popped up and startled me, I remembered to slow down (a step of trust), and to flow some understanding my way.
And I saw that the way I was doing things was more important than checking action item boxes on my list.
In fact, when I went slow and allowed the compassion to flow like chocolate fondue, I started to see what the most important tasks for the day actually were, the ones my 87-year-old self would endorse.
I still wrote a list that was too long — shortening my daily expectations is something I’m looking at — but, I saw my way of being was much more important than my record of doing.
Today, invite you to join me in the Slow Down and Show Yourself Compassion Club. (I’m Sergeant at Arms.)
I predict you’ll notice some things you’re grateful for, feel an unfamiliar yet welcome sense of love and well-being toward yourself, and maybe even notice that you’re working through your daily goals with more presence and compassion grease.™️
I noticed when I gave some to me (compassion grease™️), I was ready and eager to give it to the folks around me.
I wish and hope that you’ll let yourself slow down a tick and flow some tenderness in your sweet direction today.
It’s a wonderful way of being, and the atmosphere will change inside and around you.
And always remember – there’s only one you, and folks need to hear the story only you can sing.
Love much (this means yourself, too 💙),
Dan
PSHere’s that youtube video again where Dr. Chatterjee talks about those journal prompts.
PPS I’m on track with my book. Can I share the working title with you? Here it is:
Show Tune Recovery:
How Singing and Playing Pretend Helped to Heal My Trauma
Sound like a title you’d wanna read?
I’m picturing the jacket looking like an old school sheet music cover. I’ll let you know any more ideas I have, and please share any that come to you!
