Do you say affirmations?

Do you gaze in the mirror and say “I am” or “I have” statements deeply into your eyeballs while the authentic feelings of being that person or having that thing well up like an emotional spring from your solar plexus?

I don’t.

I’ve tried it.

Totally have.

I’ve written things down on sticky notes and put them all around the place to remind myself to say my sentences.

I’ve started vision boards. Halfway through I’d be like, “I don’t think this’ll work, and what a waste of time, glue, and old magazines.”

My brain’s just too quick to say, “But you don’t have a rustic farm property with ready access to wooded trails and a rehearsal barn.”

And yet — I do believe the words we use and things we imagine are powerful.

You know how I know this?

Because this MacBook Air I’m typing these words on? One day, somebody imagined a typewriter, and then somebody imagined a personal computer, and then somebody had to imagine a laptop, and the interwebs, and digital language, and all the other things I don’t understand at all, but that doesn’t stop me from putting my finger on the turn-this-thing-on pad at the top right corner of my computer.

Anything we see in the world that humans made existed as an idea first.

The reason we want to sing songs and tell stories? Somebody sang us songs and told us stories, and we imagined that one day we could do that! 

So, I think I may have cracked the code on creative visualization for us folks with quickly objecting brains trying to shield us from possible disappointment and tears.

It’s a two-parter.

You know how some of the manisfest-y people are all like, you must FEEL like you’ve already ACHIEVED your goal. How will that mountain of crisp Benjamins feel under your sun-lotioned skin as you fling superfluous cash off the bow of your yacht to the dolphins?

I’m like, listen, I’m just grateful I can knock out this Massachusetts gas bill over here.

But, seriously, though, think about when you have arrived at a goal. You heard the overture play on opening night in the wings. You adjusted your cap tassel as you heard “Pomp and Circumstance” solemnly sounded from the woodwinds. You made a final payment on a debt.

In all of my goal arrivals, I wasn’t jumping up like a 1988 Toyota commercial.

As Kander and Ebb wrote so clearly for Flora the Red Menace, it was indeed a quiet thing.

I have a feeling that when the dream arrives, it’ll feel quieter than the YouTube guru told you you were supposed to pretend it felt.

When the thing shows up, it’s usually because you’ve lived through enough questions, tries, failures, back pats, and improvisations to be able to integrate it.

And you’re like, oh, ok. I can do this.

When I started my gig at BoCo, I was like, “I can help these kids.” If you’d told me in 2012 this is where I’d be, I might have had a hard time believing you. I grew into where I am now.

So, imagine the thing. Yes. Imagine all the time. And just like any good actor knows, let the feelings take care of themselves.

The other thing I’ve been playing with is this. It tickles my Debbie Downer to bits.

Imagine all the PROBLEMS that will come with the achievement of your dream.

Not to dissuade you from your dream, but to help you imagine it even more vividly. We can use our brain’s negativity bias to help us in our creative visualization. Shakti Gawain would be so proud.

If you make a lot of money, you’ve got a crap ton of responsibility on your hands. You may have to hire and trust folks. You’ve got to manage that monetary energy. Your relationships might get tricky, and some haven’t-heard-from-you-in-a-while folks might conveniently reappear.

If you own that house you’ve been dreaming about, property tax can be a real splash of ice water. So can busted water heaters, HVAC systems, and roofs. Rooves? Roofs. There’s a reason I’ve stayed responsibility-free when it comes to yard work in my adult life.

And what if it’s career success? What kinds of things may pop up if you land that role in the fancy place? You may need to lead a more monkish existence. There might be exposure and folks at laptops with opinions. Maybe you don’t like signing Playbills 8 times a week. Just saying. You may feel really tired by show number 5 of a 5-show weekend.

What if it’s a tour or out-of-town gigs? Missing family and holidays and big events because they won’t let you out of your contract?

See how easy it is to come up with potential bummers?

And do you notice that even so, you still want the thing?

That’s great!

There’s always both-and.

I can’t tell you how grateful and deeply joyful I am to be a hubster and dad. Having my marriage and two sweet schmoopie pie boys is miracle-of-miracles territory.

And sometimes Melissa and I hurt each other’s feelings. Sometimes I don’t understand her, and she thinks about things in a completely different way than I do. Sometimes we get all cross-ways and have to work through our feefees. It’s always worth it, and it’s hard, and we both choose to show up and love.

And if you want to talk about the very end of myself, no resources left, and inner schtank under buzzing fluorescent tubes, you should see my internal environment when dealing with the boys on an exasperated day.

Just last week we had a day when everyone seemed to misunderstand everyone else, nerves were frayed and raw, and emotional reserves were scraping the bottom. And it was rainy.

Sucked.

And my life is a dream. What I get to live is an unimaginable blessing.

And that’s the most important part of the Dan Callaway trademarked manifest-your-dreams technique.

You can’t even imagine how terrific it can all be. I could never have cooked up the goodness that I get to live. But I did dream of sharing my life with someone kind, funny, intelligent, whole-hearted, and who shared my values. I did dream of being a dad. I just had no clue how terrific it could all turn out.

So after you’ve imagined all the various pains in the tuchus your dreams will usher into your life, let your imaginings float away like a balloon. Then one day while you’re paying a bill, you’ll look up and realize a part of your dream came true in a way you never even expected. You’ll feel a deep, quiet satisfaction, and you’ll dream about a new thing you’d love to happen and know you’ll be okay whether or not it does.

Let your imagination do its beautiful thing. And why not let it run wild in a song or two? Because there’s only one imagination like yours, and folks need to hear the story only you can sing with it.

Love much,

Dan

PS I listened to this book, Indistractable, on Audible and got a lot out of it. There’s also a good interview with the author on Diary of a CEO. I like this podcast — Stephen Bartlett is a terrific interviewer.

PPS I used some of my birthday money to get a subscription to the National Theatre at Home. I’m excited. I’ll let you know what I enjoy the most! And yes, I still get birthday money 🙏.